Toddler Psychosis

I actually googled the words "toddler psychosis" today. I had to see if such a thing existed. It doesn't, but I'll look harder tomorrow, because I think my toddler may be psychotic. When Pookie doesn't get the proper amount of sleep at night, she transforms into a cave girl. A wild, out of control, uncivilized cave girl. She whines and cries and kicks and throws whatever she can get her hands on. Sometimes she grunts, too.

She woke up too early this morning considering the awful sleep she got last night. I saw the look in her eyes as she sheepishly walked down the stairs. The "I'm sleep deprived, and you're in for it today, mommy" look. I shuddered. I knew the fate that awaited me. I knew instantly that this day would be a total nightmare.

Sure enough, it began with the breakfast protest....

Me: What would you like for breakfast this morning, my love? (I was being extra sweet in hopes of starving off the emerging cave girl)

Pookie: Noooooo

Me: No? You don't want breakfast?

Pookie: Yeahhhh, brefist!

Me: Ok, what would you like to eat?

Pookie: Noooooo

Me: Fine, you're getting Cheerios then.

Pookie: Cookie! Cookie!

Me: No. Sit down and eat your cereal, now! (At this point we're sitting at the kitchen table. I'm feeding the baby with my back kind of turned to her)

Pookie: Nooooooo

I turn to look at her and at that exact moment I saw the bowl of honey nut Cheerios fly toward my face. Fuck. She has great aim.

It got worse. Much, much worse. She was scaling the walls, swinging from the chandelier (honestly, its just a hanging light fixture, but "chandelier" sounds nice), pouncing on her sister like a cat and somehow she had managed to destroy the house more quickly and more efficiently than an F5 tornado ever could. By the time my husband came home, I was ready to down a fifth of Jack and pass out in the tub.

My cave girl is now curled up in her bed, sleeping like a little angel...but I know better ;-)