A few hours later I check on the fishies, but I can't see Snowflake. It's only a 20 gallon tank, so the chances of him getting lost in there were slim. We have an under-gravel filter system so it's not like he could get stuck in the filter either. I call my husband in a panic to tell him that I have lost the new fish, and that I am a huge failure at life. Not my best moment.
I check everywhere: on the floor, behind the tank, in the girls' diapers. No Snowflake. Then it dawns on me...the cat! The cat must have scooped him out and ate him at some point. But what if he didn't eat him? What if he carried him around in his mouth and dropped him somewhere? What if the girls picked the fish up off the floor and ate it? Or worse, what if the fish is rotting in my bed? I can't describe the sheer panic that I was feeling.
I had a restless night. I felt guilty for losing the fish. I was worried he would wind up in someones poop in the morning. I was worried he was rotting away somewhere in the house and I would never be able to get the smell out. This fish is seriously ruining my life!
Well, my husband turned the fish tank lights on this morning, and lo and behold- there was Snowflake! Dead on the bottom. We said a few words, then added him to the return container along with the shrimp. Where the hell WAS this fish? He was not in that tank, we both looked for at least 5 minutes. Did the cat get him out, play with him, then return him once we went to bed in an effort to not get caught? Did Snowflake sneak out for a night on the town and get roofied? So many questions, so little answers.
Unfortunately, we will never know what happened to our dear Snowflake. May he swim on to bluer waters.
Fun with WebMD
In other news, I've recently made the switch from an iPhone to an Android. In an effort to distract myself from the loss of Snowflake, I decided to download some fun new apps for my phone. The first section I went to was the medical section, of course. I see WebMD's app and immediately download it. I wanted to try out the Symptom Checker feature, but since I'm not having any NEW symptoms of illness today (I've only been awake for like an hour so far, so I'm sure something will pop up throughout the course of the day), I decide to look up the symptoms of my current case of raging PMS. The symptom checker is a fun, interactive tool where you select a spot on the body where you are having a symptom. Once selected, there are questions that pop up in helps of narrowing down your potential illness in order to make a correct self-diagnosis. There's really no need for doctors anymore. It's a hypochondriac's wet dream. Anyway, I input my tried and true PMS symptoms: severe fatigue, hunger, hand swelling, abdominal bloating, binge eating, dizziness, excessive sweating, nervousness, excessive crying, and I throw in some low self-esteem for good measure.
I got a list of 20 possible conditions! 20! While it did pick up on PMS as a possible cause of my symptoms, I also got some other conditions I think I might want to look into. Here's my list:
- Chronic Fatigue Syndrome- have it
- Hypoglycemia- I've always suspected this
- Medication reaction- no new meds, so this was worthless
- Hyper/hypothyroidism- again, I've suspected this as well
- Acute stress reaction- well that's a given considering I have a 2 year-old
- Depression- uhh
- Generalized anxiety disorder- uhh
- Heart Rhythm disorder- I knew it!
- Viral Syndrome- could very well be
- Anemia- totally possible
- Mononucleosis- it's a long shot, but possible
- PMS- I'm not so sure anymore
- Anemia, chronic disease- didn't they already say anemia?
- Anemia, iron deficiency- third time is a charm, I definitely have anemia!
- Bipolar disorder- I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested
- Cystic Fibrosis- slim to none chance, but still a chance
- Postpartum Depression- how did they know I have a baby? Sorry, no PPD here though
- Eating disorder- all I can think about is shoving a doughnut in my mouth right now
- Emphysema- how did they know I smoke?
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